Grieving mum shares precious photos of stillborn daughter & issues a wake-up call to parents

By Lauren – Gold Coast Mum

Trigger alert. This post deals with stillbirth. If you need support, please contact http://www.pregnancylossaustralia.org.au/

A mother grieving over the tragic loss of her daughter who was born sleeping at 40 weeks and 6 days on September 11, 2015 has bravely posted her story and beautiful – though confronting to some – photos on social media, in an effort to share an important message for all parents to keep in mind.

Natalie Morgan’s heart-wrenching photos and words have received 23,589 shares via Facebook (update: now more than 55,500).
In her Facebook post, in which she shares photos of her and her husband  Brian cradling their precious daughter, Natalie, based in Orlando, Florida said:

“There seem to be so many friends of mine and Brian that have either recently had babies, are soon to have babies, or will probably be expecting babies in the future.
This is my plea to you:
There will be times your child will scream and cry any time you try to put him or her down. Or they'll cry even as they're in your arms and you've done everything you can possibly think of to get them to stop. There will be sleepless nights, multiple diaper changes in a matter of minutes, spit up in your hair, pee on your shirt, and poop in your hands, and again - so much screaming from the baby, and probably from you as well. Every time that happens, every time you feel frustrated and want to run away, please remember my story:

My sweet, sweet Eleanor Josephine was born sleeping September 11th. I went to bed the night of the 10th, and she was kicking away. I woke up, and she wasn't. I couldn't find the heartbeat on the home doppler. I knew. I just knew. I didn't want to know...I wanted to be mistaken, but I knew.”

The post details how the events unfolded and words so touching that most readers have been brought to tears.

…”I keep having flashbacks to that moment. It's a crippling, all-consuming feeling of utter suffocation, and a memory that will haunt me for the rest of my life. In that moment, I felt trapped as if the ceiling was literally crashing down on top of me. I couldn't breathe, lashed out, I screamed, I threw things, I threw up...and then a piece of me died with her. I was helpless to change anything. My body was supposed to keep her safe, and instead it killed her. I was 40w6d.

"A couple of hours later, I was induced. They offered me an epidural, but I couldn't do it. I needed to own it. I needed the pain, the agony, and misery to mirror what I felt in my heart. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. Ever. Dealing with the unbearable contractions, the ring of fire, the tearing...knowing that all of it was for nothing. I was delivering a lifeless child. There would be no happiness at the end of it to help me forget the pain. The pain, unlike my baby girl, would live on forever.

"Then finally, after those hellish hours of labor, she was placed on my chest - gorgeous, but lifeless. There was no reason to expect that first little cry from her. Instead, it was me who sobbed. I begged her through my tears to wake up: "Please wake up, baby girl...please, wake up. Why won't you cry for mommy? Please, please, please....just wake up."

Natalie Morgan shared this image of her baby girl, with the caption: "I love her. I love her so much. We said goodbye for the last time yesterday, and then I had to leave her again. None of this is fair. My beautiful daughter should be here with me. I kept telling her to wake up. "Please wake up, baby girl...please wake up..."

Natalie pleads with parents to “…remember, while you're awake at 3am because you have a baby in your arms keeping you up that late, I'm up at 3am because I don't. And I would give anything in this world to have a baby spitting up on me, being colicky for all hours of the day and night, screaming, not letting me put her down, cracking my nipples from breastfeeding, keeping me up all night. Instead, I have a stitched nether region, painfully engorged breasts no baby will suckle from, a flabby stomach, an empty womb, and blood that will continue to pour out of me for who knows how many more weeks. As if her death and birth wasn't traumatic enough, I still have to live with the physical effects all these many days later.”

“All I ask of you is when you have your dark moments with your baby - when you're at your wits' end and feel like you can't go on anymore when you're only getting an hour or two of sleep a night - instead of begging your child to go to sleep and wallowing in your frustration and exhaustion, say a prayer of gratitude for your child, as difficult as it may be in that moment. And if you would, say a prayer for me and all the mothers whose children were taken from them too soon. Say a prayer for my sweet, sweet Eleanor who never got to know life outside my womb.”

Natalie Morgan facebook
Image: Natalie Morgan

Natalie Morgan facebook
Image: Natalie Morgan


A Go Fun Me page has been set up for the couple at: http://www.gofundme.com/NatalieAndBrian
More than $8000 has been raised by 181 people in 9 days so far.
The funds will assist the family in medical and hospital expenses.

Natalie took to Facebook in recent hours to express her gratitude for the support she has received so far.
“I am so overwhelmed with the thoughts, prayers, and messages of support I have received since sharing Eleanor's story yesterday. I never imagined it would spread as far as it did. So far, the story has been shared over 8,200 times and counting in the last 24 hours (it was only 6,500 two hours ago!) I have received hundreds of comments and private messages from parents - almost all entirely strangers! - All of them offered their condolences; many let me know that they having a rough night with their infant, but Eleanor's story gave them the strength to preserve through the incessant crying and frustrations that come with a new baby.

“My pain has not lessened, I still ache for my daughter, and nothing will ever make the void she left in my heart go away. But it looks as though Eleanor has touched many lives in her short time on this earth, and for that, I am eternally grateful. I love you all, family, friends, and strangers alike. I'm so sorry I haven't been able to respond to each comment and message individually, and I don't know if I will ever be able to address all of them, given the number. But just know that I thank you all from the bottom of my heart and appreciate every kind word you all have said.”

Click here view Natalie’s Facebook post in full:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10106237363769869&set=pcb.10106237396793689&type=1&permPage=1

https://www.facebook.com/natatomic

My heart goes out to Natalie and Brian, and other families who have experienced such a tragic loss.

If you need support, please contact http://www.pregnancylossaustralia.org.au/


4 comments

  1. Ooh nathalie, be strong, my heart goes out to you and your baby girl. God bless you both

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  2. Ooh nathalie, be strong, my heart goes out to you and your baby girl. God bless you both

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