I'm scared! Here's why!

Today I spent 20 minutes holding a beautiful 11-week-old baby girl.

I was at work doing a magazine photo shoot with a new mum and her bub was unsettled so she asked me to hold her gorgeous girl for the duration of the quick photo shoot.
It was my pleasure.

The teeny tiny baby girl was just divine. With her little hands and little head.
She was 11 weeks old, but you kind of forget just how small they are at that stage (it makes your older toddlers seem so much bigger doesn’t it!?).



It reminded me that the two precious little bundles I'm currently carrying will no doubt be smaller than this bub (who was similar size as my first born - born around 8lb).
In my head, I was thinking, ‘Oh my gawsh, it won’t be long til I have not one, but two of these!’


After holding the baby girl for around seven minutes, my arm and shoulder started to ache. How weird, considering I am frequently holding my 11kg son and 18kg daughter!
But y’know when you’re holding someone else’s baby and you’re frightened to move? Well, not frightened, but just super-careful and can’t really relax because it’s not your baby and you’d hate to cause it to be upset, well that was me.
I stayed in the same position for 20 minutes as I slowly walked around, patted bub over my shoulder, afraid if I changed position slightly, it might unsettle her again.


Anyhoo, during my 20 minute snuggle, with bub dribbling down my shoulder and left arm, it dawned on me that I will soon have TWO precious bundles in my arms. At the same time. Crying at the same time. Needing to be fed/changed at the same time. Needing all the love and attention AT THE SAME TIME. OMG. It’s crazy!


My enormous basketball bump and multiple kicks from each of the twins during the day are constant reminders of what is to come.
But today, it really hit me. In a good way. But also in a freaked-out kind of way.


I usually think about how life with twins (four under four) will be during the moments when we’re trying to get out the house in the mornings and I’m chasing Miss 3 to brush her hair or calling out for her to join me in the bathroom so we can brush our teeth together, or changing Mr 18-months’ bum or wiping mashed banana from his ears and forehead so he looks presentable. Trying to juggle it all. At the same time.
I usually have a little laugh in my head about how much more hectic life will become once our family expands with two more little people to care for.


Today was also a reminder of how much I want the pregnancy to continue to cruise along drama-free, and for the bubs to stay in my belly for as long as possible to make it as close to full term as possible.


Today was the day, it really hit me. And I’ll admit, if I wasn’t before, I’m kind of nervous now…


I can’t wait to meet our twins.
But hopefully not for at least another 12/13 weeks when I’ll be around 37/38 weeks (am currently 25 weeks).


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3 comments

  1. Congratulations - I am a mum of twin boys (now 7) and it has been the best time of my life.

    I expected it to be worst AND IT WASN'T.
    I think we just coped as best we could and differently on different days.

    Though my son was 13 when they were born , I can't imagine 4 under 4. You will be surprised how even your little ones will be your gophers (go for this & that) Train them up now ;) with bribes.
    Just remember that some things might slide but to stay sane you give in a little more when you are having a rough day.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks so much Trish. Some wise words indeed :-) x

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  2. Yes you will be busy, and yes life will be crazy, but it will be fantastic! You'll be more exhausted than you ever knew possible, but you'll also know more joy than you ever knew existed. From one twin mama to another, congratulations and welcome to the club!
    (I came via DP :) )

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